It’s that Time Again, Readers … The Semi-Annual Bachelor Post Returns

bachelor

To be honest, watching the previews, I wasn’t certain I could deal with yet another season of The Bachelor. We’re officially into territory where the script is repeating itself in extremely painful ways, almost as if the women who are on this show have never watched a prior episode.

To whit …

Don’t be the one who tells the Bachelor about the bad seed

Maybe this dates back before Jillian’s season on The Bachelorette, but we seem to be locked into an internal loop of one woman acting differently in front of the other chicas than she does in front of The Bachelor. Which is awful because, you know, none of us ever have acted slightly differently in front of the person we’re trying to impress.

Here’s the thing … if you are the messenger with this tidbit, you’re gonna get shot. Or at least shot down. It happens like clockwork. No one wants to hear that their judgment is terrible, even when there are parts of their anatomy other than the brain driving their decisions.

Just bite your tongue and let someone else fall on that grenade.

And when you’re selling your house and telling your agent why yours is so much better because of all the problems with the one down the block, just remember the owner of the house down the block said the same thing about yours.

Don’t give a rose to the woman crying at the first rose ceremony

It’s reasonable to assume that these folks all are damaged in some way or another, seeing as they believe this is their best chance at love. But if someone is so totally emotionally invested after spending a couple of hours with a man (unless she’s Taylor Swift) and when there are two dozen other women at play, let the crazy go.

Emotions make us who we are. They also tend to lead to trouble, real estate wise and on reality TV. The Vulcans had this one right.

Look up the word deserve

A past contestant comes back because she’d met our new Bachelor and, of course, the others are angry because “she had her chance” and “she doesn’t deserve to be here.”

Kids, no one “deserves” to be on television. Buy a dictionary and figure out what that word really means. And after that, check out the word “perspective.”

Gimmicks are nice, but it’s the basics that matter

Wearing a wedding dress to the first night is along the lines of marketing a home for sale with candy bars. It’s kinda cute, and more than a little bit nutty, but if the house (or the woman) is a(n emotional) wreck, it ain’t gonna help one bit.

The producer isn’t your friend

These people are looking for ratings, kids. They answer to ABC, not you. Which kinda works the same as listing agents, and particular agents in the new home builds – they’re looking out for their own bank accounts and don’t really care about you beyond the check you’ll generate for them. Get used to it.

To be honest, my dear readers, it’s a small miracle that I haven’t destroyed my liver watching this show for your entertainment (and to make my wife happy.) But these are the things I do to keep you informed and advise you on the real estate market.

I hope you’ll accept this rose … er … these thoughts.

About Jonathan

Jonathan Dalton is a 30-plus-year resident of the Valley and has been helping folks buy and sell homes since 2004. He can be reached at 602-502-9693 or info at allphoenixrealestate.com.

  • ECNewlin

    No for reals that episode was messed up. and you didn’t even talk about the 50 Shade of Grey lunatic!

  • JonathanDalton

    @ECNewlin¬†I wasn’t going to touch that one with a two foot riding crop