Yes, it’s May once again which means we’re off on another journey with The Bachelorette. Join us over the next two months as dear, sweet, “26” year old Emily sifts through 25 talking mannequins to find true love, a father for her daughter and someone with whom to fill a minivan with babies.
It’s always good to know when the search becomes serious. In Emily’s case, it apparently came after she was done with her fiancee from The Bachelor, after she was done partying in Vegas with Hef’s ex Holly Madison and dating Carolina Panthers linebacker Jeremy Shockey. Not that I’m being overly judgmental … okay, I am … but me thinks if you’re looking to settle down, you don’t necessarily look up a local NFL player in hopes of a normal life.
On Monday night we watched 25 intrepid souls wander to Charlotte to woo Emily. At least two of them carried the appellation “Realtor” (not in all caps, and not with the little trademark thingy, which makes me wonder if the NAR trademark police even are watching to show to protect the brand which is done such credit by Realtor.Com) and all seemed to have sprinkled on everyone’s new favorite cologne, desperation.
In some ways, Emily’s situation reminds me of the local market. 25 people all vying for the same piece of … property … and 24 are guaranteed to fail, wondering why exactly they didn’t get their opportunity. In real estate, it’s often a question of price or financing or other terms. On the Bachelorette, it could be the ostrich egg you felt the need to bring with you, or the oddly-poofy hair, or the general douchiness of swooping in on a helicopter.
Disclosures on this show apparently are less comprehensive than on most home purchases – for instance, do these guys know that every season’s highlight, the plunge into the hot tub, just ain’t gonna happen?
Unlike the Bachelorette, most buyers never will know exactly why the seller chose someone else. It remains one of those mysteries that endure, like why Ben selected Courtney last season.
Or Jake picked Vienna.
Or Matt picked Shayne.
Or Deanna (another Realtor, who may or may not have been a REALTOR) chose Jesse.
(Editor’s note: people, the fact I’m reciting these off the top of my head CLEARLY indicates this is a cry for help. Please, help me before I start reciting winners of Dancing With the Stars for the last several seasons.)
There’s one other significant difference between the Bachelorette and real estate; when you purchase a property, it’s generally believed to be for the long-term … maybe not the 35 years my parents have lived in the same home, or the nine I’ve lived in mind, but at least three to five.
With the Bachelorette, surviving to the After the Rose Special seems to be accomplishment enough. In Bachelor/Bachelorette world, flipping is highly encouraged – after all, we also need the fill the cast of Bachelor Pad.
Which reminds me, Blake and Holly apparently really are getting married.
(Help. Me. Please.)