You Really Want Me to Tell You Where to Buy?

Saturday night, my wife and I had tickets to the National Comedy Theater – a hole-in-the-wall comedy club specializing in “competitive improv property.” It’s very small, very low budget and also really, really enjoyable.

Before the show, I thought I’d take my bride to the Blue Adobe Grill – another more or less hole in the wall place in downtownish Mesa. We arrived and there were a handful of tables available but all were being held for people with reservations.

(For those who don’t know the Valley, there are remarkably few restaurants who even accept reservations and they’re necessary at only a handful of those. I’d never would have imagined that reservations were needed here.)

With showtime approaching I thought of Plan B and somehow talked my wife into going to Hooters, knowing there never is a wait at a Hooters. It just doesn’t happen.

Except …

Okay, so I was venting. But even the venting doesn’t change my basic thesis that the East Valley is far too crowded for my taste.

Keep in mind I’m one of those rare folks who has lived in both the East and West Valley, so I’m not some mindless hater who doesn’t know what the other side is like. I grew up in Mesa, left for Glendale in 1991, returned for three years in 1995 and have been back in either Glendale or Peoria ever since.

At this point, you couldn’t pay me to live on the other side of Central Avenue. I’d just as soon live in the real thing rather than the cheap imitation and move back to the San Fernando Valley, home of the 24-hour traffic jam known as the Hollywood Freeway.

And all of this leads back to the basic point of this post – aside from the fact that the Fair Housing Act prohibits me from steering buyers toward or away from any given area based on subjective criteria, you don’t really want me to tell you where to live.

Many of my clients come from Canada, from the Pacific Northwest, the Midwest … all areas I know next to nothing about. Which means I don’t have the slightest idea what you are used to for home styles, for neighborhood feel and the like.

I’ve lived in Los Angeles for eight years and here in Phoenix for the past 34. This is all I know – dry climate, mountains around the horizon, few trees. While I can find you just the house you want based on what you describe, I can’t tell you where you want it to be.

For all I know, you’d love live in the East Valley as I did back in the day before I knew any better and moved west. It’s not up to me to tell you what area’s going to suit you best. You have to get on the ground here and check it out for yourself, plain and simple.

When you do, though, don’t try to get into Blue Adobe on a Saturday without reservations.

Jonathan Dalton

Jonathan Dalton is a 40-plus-year resident of the Valley and has been helping folks buy and sell homes since 2004. He can be reached at 602-502-9693 or info at